


Nightmares

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Mentions of Violence, and domestic violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:15:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24727339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: After listening to Athena being attacked over the radio, everyone expects Maddie to be the one to have nightmares. Instead, it's Chimney screaming out her name in the middle of the night.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	Nightmares

Chimney can’t really explain it.

It’s not as though it’s the first time he’s thought about the hell Maddie must have gone through before he even knew her. Sometimes, he finds himself watching her as she sleeps, the way she twitches and whimpers after a particularly rough day at work, and he tries not to let his mind wander but he can’t help but imagine what must have happened.

She never talks about it, perhaps that’s what makes it harder. He can let his imagination run wild and he hopes that the reality is nowhere near as bad as the scenarios he can create in his head. But sometimes, if she smashes a glass or burns the dinner, he sees the way her hands tremble and he’s straight back in his head, imagining the pain she must have been in.

But still, it’s _Athena’s_ voice he’s hearing on the other end, it’s Athena being beaten, it’s Bobby’s wife, not his girlfriend and he tries to hard to push it back as he listens. Maddie tells them to switch the channel, because Maddie is safe in the dispatch centre, listening to exactly they’re listening to but they don’t. They keep listening and suddenly, it’s Maddie’s screams he can hear.

It’s what echoes in his brain over and over, even when he’s holding her close to him that very night. The moment they had both gotten home from the hospital, they had fallen into bed, and held each other. Neither of them saying a word, just breathing in the other person, grateful to be in their own bed and not in a hospital room.

Maddie is the first one to fall asleep, and Chimney just finds himself running his fingers through her long hair as her breathing softens. Buck had pulled him aside once they got to the hospital and asked if he could keep an eye on her, worried that the sound of her friend being brutally attacked whilst they all helplessly listened, would trigger memories that she’d been trying so hard to push down. Athena had also expressed concern, squeezing Maddie’s hand and asking her if _she_ was okay, even Bobby had put a hand on Chimney’s shoulder and told him to take her home, to hold her because it couldn’t have been easy.

There’s no doubt in his mind that the night had been rough on her, and he wishes more than anything he could find the right words or do the right thing to make it easier. Not understanding that in Maddie’s mind, he had been perfect from the moment she had run into his arms at the hospital.

Eventually, exhaustion completely takes over and his own eyes fall to a close, his mind falling into an uneasy sleep.

_He’s staring at Doug, towering over Maddie, his hand pulling down on her long hair as she sobs. Chimney tries to move towards them, only to be stopped by a glass wall, his hands clenching into fists before he slams hard, screaming her name. He’s completely helpless, trapped, unable to get to her as she’s thrown to the ground. He can see the smirk, the dangerous glint in the other mans eyes before he starts kicking her, over and over again. Chimney’s body slams up against the glass, sobbing, wishing he could help._

_Suddenly, he’s punching her, there’s so much blood and she’s crying for Chimney, begging him to help her but he’s just standing there, screaming her name as though somehow, the glass will shatter at any second. And then she stops._

_And everything is silent. She’s not moving._

“Howard, baby… wake up, wake up, please…” Somehow she’s talking to him, but it’s not the unmoving body of the woman in front of him, the voice is coming from around him, pulling him out of the image until suddenly, his eyes are open and he feels as though his heart is about to beat out of his chest. “Sit up for me, baby…” She’s pulling on him ever so gently and he just lets her take the lead because he can’t breathe.

Her hand is rubbing circles on his back, tears streaming down both their faces, and it’s not lost on him that she’s shaking almost as much as he is, “M-Maddie…”

“It’s okay, it’s okay.” More than anything, Chimney wants to tell her that it’s not okay, that nothing that happened to her was okay, that Doug stalking and stabbing him was not okay, that kidnapping and almost taking her away from him forever definitely wasn’t okay. And right then what happened to Athena wasn’t okay. “I-I need y-you to breathe, please… count backwards in threes, okay? Count with me…”

She moves one hand to run her fingers through his hair, softly counting backwards with him until his breathing starts to even out. Her lips are on his cheek, whispering soft words of comfort that barely make any sense to him in that moment because he feels so undeserving of an ounce of love she’s showing him right then. It’s the tremendous amount of guilt he feels right then for making what happened to Athena about him, for causing the look of pain he sees on Maddie’s face right then, knowing he scared her.

“You were screaming my name… a-and his…”

Fuck, he hates himself even more, if that was even possible. Unable to fathom how difficult it must have been for her to hear her current boyfriend screaming the name of her dead, abusive husband. His face pales, his nails digging into arms as he harshly grips onto himself. Buck, Bobby and Athena had all asked him to keep an eye on her, Hen had hugged them both so tight before they left and he knew that it was unspoken, that his duty was to protect the woman he loved so much.

All he felt then was a complete and utter failure. 

Even more so when the tears start to fall once more, small whimpers leaving his lips. He’s supposed to be protecting her and yet, it’s her arms that wrap around him, it’s her pulling him into her lap as she attempts to soothe him. “I know, I know… I’m sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make it easier but… it’s okay. I’m okay, you’re okay, Doug is dead, Athena is okay… the man who hurt her is in jail… we’re here. We’re safe.”

It helps, it takes the image of her bleeding, unmoving body from his mind, focusing instead on his hand over her chest, feeling the light feeling of her beating heart against his palm. He focuses on the way her breath feels against his forehead, how her lips feel kissing down against his skin, how her hand is rubbing his back. And suddenly, he can’t remember if he’s told her that night, wishing he could have said it a thousand times over but knowing that still wouldn’t be enough, “I love you.”

He can’t help but smile when she says it back in her own way, not using those three words but conveying the exact same feeling, “I am so thankful for you, so completely and utterly thankful.” 


End file.
